It don't look so bad from here; just got a little mud on the tires, that's all...

Hell, it looks downright purty with the sun shinin' off of it like that.

Hmmm... I'm getting a bad feeling about this...

Shit. Well, I guess it could be worse...

Oh fuck me.

This is almost as bad as the time the dealer spent an hour pulling seaweed from the engine compartment.

Ah, it's good to have dirty friends in your time of need. I think Mike's having a fantasy about midget mud wrestling at the moment, actually...

Thanks for the attempt at pulling the Hummer out, but your Jeep seems a bit hung up at the moment -- you've got your own problems, Mole.

Another Jeep bites the dust in a valiant effort to free the Hummer. Will the Hummer languish in a mud pit like a doomed wooley mammoth?

Aw hell, everyone grab a beer and a shovel. This may take a while.

Alright, we give up. Tow us out, for alot of money, and even more lost-face.

DOH!

The moral of the story is: if you mix mud and heavy equipment together, you'll lower a man's IQ even quicker than a woman in a slinky dress. Do not try this at home; and yes, we'll be appearing in court to address the trespassing charges shortly.

In the end, a big-ass tow truck generally used for hauling semi's came out and gave us a tug from the mud. It pulled the Hummer all of 2 inches before I had enough grip to just drive it right out. The problem was the mud was so deep, it was propping the Hummer up by the undercarriage; no wheels were hitting the ground. It cost me $100 an inch for that tow; that has to be more expensive per inch than penile augmentation.

Ouch.

.....

Andrew Welch / el Presidente / Ambrosia Software, Inc.